i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
