i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize