i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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