I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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