Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
