U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Success! We fucked roommates!
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