WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize