i permit you to call me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
