spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
