i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize