I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize