I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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