Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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