no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
