Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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