is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
