And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Boobs speak an international language.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
