Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...