last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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