There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
