She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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