I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
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gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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