He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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