Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
