I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
COCAINE IS GR8
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
