All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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