her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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