we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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