TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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