we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
