i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
