i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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