We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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