We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
