you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
