a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
