I'm jealous of your bromance
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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