Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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