So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
