Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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