i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
