He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Come see our sink grown plant.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
