you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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