You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
