porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
