Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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