She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
