Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
