too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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