Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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