Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
