If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
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He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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