singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
