You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
