But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The Olympian is in my bed
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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