so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
