if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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