It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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