Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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