I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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