Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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