Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
