There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
