My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
