Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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