Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
