She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
